


I Don't Speak Hipster But I Can If You Like

by revenblue



Series: [collection] but you keep spinning 'round me just the same (Perryshmirtz) [115]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Fashion Disaster, M/M, POV Second Person, Perry is exasperated, Quadruple Drabble, they're in love tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:13:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24895222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/revenblue/pseuds/revenblue
Summary: Prompt: Figuratively or literally, these characters are speaking different languages. How will they communicate?
Relationships: Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus
Series: [collection] but you keep spinning 'round me just the same (Perryshmirtz) [115]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/746841
Comments: 6
Kudos: 36





	I Don't Speak Hipster But I Can If You Like

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt from one of r/fanfiction's daily prompts... in 2018. Whoops.
>
>> September 12: Figuratively or literally, these characters are speaking different languages. How will they communicate? (400 words)

Letting yourself in, you chirr so he knows you're here and help yourself to his tea. The stuff he only buys because of you. Of course he's not even _ready_.

You're halfway into your second cup when the door opens behind you. _Finally_.

"Behold!" he announces, just the way he always does, and you turn to see the most atrocious outfit he's ever worn. Which is saying something. You still remember the _sock_ , for one.

Today, he's wearing an agonisingly familiar crop top that barely stretches over his stomach, with an atrociously pink mesh shirt underneath. To top off that... top... he also has a plaid button-up over it all. As for his bottom half... Baggy doesn't really suit him, leave it at that.

No, you can't just leave it at that. They're _plaid_. Again. And not flattering in the slightest. _This_ is what he's planning to wear on your date?

"What do you think?" he asks, doing a twirl to show you his backside. Literal backside, with the gap between the plaid monstrosity and the tight teal underwear underneath. The OWCA logo tells you the _front_ of his underwear will be emblazoned with your face. It'd be flattering if it weren't so creepy.

He's still grinning at you, expectant, and you're too _weak_. You can't bear to hurt his feelings. So you give him an awkward smile, and a gesture, asking him what he was even thinking.

Brightening at that, he runs his hands down his sides. "You like it? I was just _thinking_ , you're so _strong_ and _silent_ and I never know how much you _understand_ so I figured I should _talk_ to you in your own _language_."

Where he got the idea that _this_ counted as "your language", you have no idea.

Tackling him to the ground, unable to stand it any longer, you tug at his clothing. You have to get him _out_ of this abomination of an outfit. Careful not to tear anything, as much as his clothes deserve it, you strip him down, revealing the bare skin he usually tries to hide. Not that you understand why he does. You love him, scars and all.

But not these _assless chaps_. Removing them, you find yourself face to face with your own... face.

You look up at _his_ face and roll your eyes, exasperated beyond belief. Your boyfriend is _impossible_. That's why you love him.

**Author's Note:**

> "No, seriously, I don't speak a _lick_ of hipster, someone _please_ enlighten me."
> 
> Title, and the line I began these endnotes with, from [Strider Be Mine](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIdwDLoP9Gc) by Broadway Karkat (well, my favourite version, there's two), which I've wanted to fic for these two since before I saw the prompt... in September 2018. *sighs heavily*
> 
> No idea when I actually drafted this, because I was away from my computer at the time and did it longhand and those never have dates attached. (Or wordcounts, which didn't help with a wordcount limit.) I do know I only transcribed the draft earlier this year, in April. Dug it out to edit after being reminded how much of a _hipster_ Perry is. Because he _is_. ~~If it's a little underwhelming, blame the wordcount limit.~~


End file.
